If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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