Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
