just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
