Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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