One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Boobs are out for the taking
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
