3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
