well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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