I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
