but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
