Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
