He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
