We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
