Sponge bath it is.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Don't make out with my wife yet
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The power of my boobs compel you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
