Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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