If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
