I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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