it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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