Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
