dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
