She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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