Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
