Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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