I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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