I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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