it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
How naked do you want me to be?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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