Duck Duck Cougar?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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