We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
