I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
being pregnant is like rehab
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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