You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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