I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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