Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
