eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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