I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
