angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
