Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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