butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
