he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
