he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is wine microwaveable?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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