can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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