YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
