I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
