I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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