; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
