in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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