New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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