We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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