i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
