she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
