Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
