so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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