Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
