apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the day after is always just damage control
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
