Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
