yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
