And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize