Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize