Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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