and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
