In America we eat man semen.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize