Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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