Your dad touched me again.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize