i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
