What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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