like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Enjoy the penises
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
