I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
that is very illegal...i love you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
